10:20am, Wednesday 29 Aug 2001
Song of the Day: Leonardo's Bride - Buzz
I was thinking today about different types of people and the partners they attract. What happens when people who are almost opposites get into relationships?
Are these relationships ultimately doomed to fail because of the differences? What about those people we know who make it work - how do they do it?
I was talking to my friend Nicolle today about social vs. introspective people. She was telling me about her ex who was very introspective - preferred to spend his Saturday nights at home watching videos or just bumming about. Nicolle on the other hand, is a real social butterfly and loves to go out every weekend with their friends.
Nicolle said that it caused a lot of conflict in their relationship - she always wanted to go out, he wanted to stay home. He didn't trust her enough to let her go out by herself, but yet when he went out, he resented her for it. She didn't want to stay home because it was boring for her, and when she did she resented him for making her give up her friends. Later on, this led to stupid, petty and avoidable arguments because neither of them got to do what they each wanted to do.
How can it work if two people are so opposite?
It makes me think of my past and present relationships. I'm very much like her ex - I like to stay home, read a book, play a game or do something other than socialise. Sure, I like to go out sometimes, but just because someone asks me if I want to do something, doesn't mean I will take going out over a bit of "me" time on the weekend. 9 times out of 10, I'll turn them down.
I don't think this makes me any better or worse than the Nicolle's of this world who can't stand staying at home alone on a Saturday night. I think it makes me different.
Nicolle says that you can judge a person's confidence by how willing they are to spend Saturday night home alone. Interesting thought.
So how to survive with someone who wants different things to what you do? Compromise, I hear you say. In this situation its easy. Let the social butterfly hang out with their friends, let the recluse do what they want to do, and at the end of the night, reunite. That's my solution.
Nicolle, on the other hand, does not agree with me. My perfect solution is her perfect nightmare - once she's asleep, she's asleep and doesn't want to reunite. Which is fair enough. Just goes to show everyone is different.
But for me, I'm trying my solution.
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